I've been weird lately..... and I know why. My school time has been struggling and I know why it is, too. I've been setting my own self and my schooling above God
Lovely, right?
I had a nice talk with Eric last night. I was feeling terrible, all I was doing was eating and watching my computer. I had no will to do homework, or house work, or anything for that matter. Even though I didn't want to do that, even the thing that I was doing didn't seem to fufill what I needed. I don't know what I needed....
Well, randomly, Eric called me. He was all normal and friendly and honestly wanting to know how I was.I just said " okay " and he knew something was up. I told him how I've been feeling about things, how I've been controlling my eating, if I even eat. He encouraged me to really get some alone time with God. Turn off the music, put up the ownit365 bible and go outside, look up at the stars ( because he knows how I love to do that ) and talk with God. Ive noticed that Eric always does this. When I'm at my lowest, or I'm about to do something bad, Eric calls or.texts or something. I don't know if its the holy spirit, or something, but he always knows. If it is the holy spirit telling him, I thank god because the lord has tried to intervene almost every time I'm about to screw up.
So anywho, I seem to put way too much pressure on myself to perfect evrything and be GOOD at everything. But by doing that, I have been messing everything up. Like running in quick sand. That's what it feels like a lot. But, there's the Lord daddio just holding out a stick to pull me out of my own ignorance.
" I wish I was more than a man,
have you ever felt that way
And if I were to tell you the truth
I'm afraid id have to say
that after all ive done and failed to do,
I feel less than I was meant to be.
And what if I could fix myself, maybe then I could get free
I could try to be somebody else, who's much better off than me
But I need to remember this :
when I'm at my weakness I can clearly see
He makes the lame walk and the dumb talk
He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on his time,
He knows our deepest desperate need
The world waits while his heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like If we let Jesus live through you and me "
-Big Daddy Weave
Lovely, right?
I had a nice talk with Eric last night. I was feeling terrible, all I was doing was eating and watching my computer. I had no will to do homework, or house work, or anything for that matter. Even though I didn't want to do that, even the thing that I was doing didn't seem to fufill what I needed. I don't know what I needed....
Well, randomly, Eric called me. He was all normal and friendly and honestly wanting to know how I was.I just said " okay " and he knew something was up. I told him how I've been feeling about things, how I've been controlling my eating, if I even eat. He encouraged me to really get some alone time with God. Turn off the music, put up the ownit365 bible and go outside, look up at the stars ( because he knows how I love to do that ) and talk with God. Ive noticed that Eric always does this. When I'm at my lowest, or I'm about to do something bad, Eric calls or.texts or something. I don't know if its the holy spirit, or something, but he always knows. If it is the holy spirit telling him, I thank god because the lord has tried to intervene almost every time I'm about to screw up.
So anywho, I seem to put way too much pressure on myself to perfect evrything and be GOOD at everything. But by doing that, I have been messing everything up. Like running in quick sand. That's what it feels like a lot. But, there's the Lord daddio just holding out a stick to pull me out of my own ignorance.
" I wish I was more than a man,
have you ever felt that way
And if I were to tell you the truth
I'm afraid id have to say
that after all ive done and failed to do,
I feel less than I was meant to be.
And what if I could fix myself, maybe then I could get free
I could try to be somebody else, who's much better off than me
But I need to remember this :
when I'm at my weakness I can clearly see
He makes the lame walk and the dumb talk
He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on his time,
He knows our deepest desperate need
The world waits while his heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like If we let Jesus live through you and me "
-Big Daddy Weave
No comments:
Post a Comment