Courting with MasterCard

     You know, I apparently never fully grasped the concept of Christian courtship. I thought I did, but I realize there is so much more to it than once thought. And I must say, it takes a lot of time! This is uncharted territory for me, so now I do not know what is normal and what is not. Is he supposed to talk to me every day? Should I text him first, do we ever get to hang out just the two of us?
    Before, Jack and I would be alone all the time and everything was great. But I knew I was falling to fast, or for what the internet calls, falling in love with the concept of love. I think that Jack saw it too because on Saturday, he pointed out to me that I seemed distracted and that I need to make sure that I am focusing o the Lord. I have been trying sooo hard! My only problem is that, yes, he very distracting, but I know that I should be focusing on God's will first and no one else's. I cannot allow myself to get caught up in this and forget why I am here on this world. And that is to love others and spread the gospel. He decided that we should stick to group events for awhile. I agreed entirely. I'm just trusting the Lord on this. Letting him take over.
     Since Saturday, I have been doing a lot more quiet time than I usually do. I have been increasingly busy due to my schedule and laziness when available and I have decided that it isn't healthy. I need my Jesus time. I'm happier, I'm stronger in him and I know He likes it too. My theme song lately has been "None But Jesus" byt Hillsong. It has definitely helped a lot. I'm making sure Im doing quiet time because I want to, not because my courtier-person thinks it will be best. Or to make myself look good.
    Following God out in the open starts with doing it in private. Fully relying on God and becoming second in all situations. That's what I want to do. Anxiety has tried it's best to get ahold of me, but I refuse to allow it in. I just gotta keep my eyes on Jesus.
    But what does that mean entirely? Am I able to read my MockingJay book and watch my favorite television shows? Is that wise? I dont know what exactly to do anymore. What I should do? All I know is that I'm supposed to walk in love and keep my eyes on God and everything else will follow after.
    So, focus on God? Check
    Dont focus on Jack? Check
    Become second? Forever striving.
    Learning not to act like a teenage girl with her courtier and stop being insecure? Priceless.

Booklist 2012

The color purple
Hunger games
Catch fire
Hunger
The lucky one
Beyond belief
Hatchet
Mockingjay
The shack
crazy love