<p>Recently I have pondered the thought of having sex this year. My first thoughts about it was that, " no, that would be hypocritical Fay," then the next was, " is my future husband really going to care if I've gotten laid before?" Then my next thought was to ask Pixi. So during church I asked her about it and she just kind of looked at me, then said, " you are just like me when I was your age!" Then she gave me a hug.
Not very helpful bes fwend.
I told her I felt as if by the end of this year it would probably be gone just to get it over with. She just kind of looked at me and said, "Fay, you're going to want to keep it. I know you and when you get married, whomever the lord blesses you with, your going to regret not having that gift to give him." I said okay and then we decided to go walk to youth.<br>
     That night, one of my many mother figures took me home; she is my youth pastor's mother. On our way out she asked me to pray for her brother that we could be in agreement that he will be healed. You see, our lesson last night was called, " I got a good feeling," and Travo remarked that even in our worst times, the lord never walks away; but it's what is truly in our hearts that will come out during hard times. So if you're filling your life with hate filled things or negativity or even acting perverted with your friends, that what goes in is what's gonna come out. He also made a point that when someone who witnesses as a christian " slips up" and says a cuss word when they get mad, it wasn't a mistake, they knew what they were doing.
Somehow within the lesson, kenneth, travo's brother in law who is also a youth leader, got onto the topic of Job. Even though Job went through hell, he didn't say one word against God or turned against him. Sure, Job told him how he felt, but he never turned away. This story always made me wonder why God allowed the enemy to hurt Job. I knew my God wasn't like that at all. Well, Cindy, travo's mom explained it to me: the things like sickness and tragedy does not come from the Lord, it comes from the enemy. See, the lord doesn't need you in heaven. Sure, he would like you to be there with him, but he needs you here so you can show others the love of christ. Tragedy will strike, but the pain will not be from the lord. Sure, the lord will take things from you when you are placing them above him because he is a jealous God, but he is always there to bring hope to you and comfort you after. He just want you to rely on him and let him love you.
Among that, I saw a post by Joyce Meyer saying " if the all knowing God of creation recommends to do something, It would probably be wise to follow his advise because he obviously knows more than me. And i trust in him, so imma try my best and ask the holy spirit what to do.
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